sniffing the boy wonder’s brain
An imagined look into the mind of the wonder boy by yours truly and pugfully…
What is that? Is it a bird? A plane?
Why, it’s moving so fast — faster than a speeding train!
(Not that I believe in trains, strictly speaking.)
Ho! hither — it’s…it’s!
Or, or, maybe…
None of the hundreds of other candidates can possibly get the job done. Ottawa needs a man with an uncanny ability to govern this great city. A man whose very name is on the city council’s chamber. This nation’s capital needs a hero, and who better than I? I do not need campaign funding, for I have money. I do not need lawn signs, because the world will know me for my deeds. If O’Brien and Watson will not shepherd my plan for transit then I shall enter this race and defeat them all and be mayor of Ottawa. BUT I AM NOT A ONE TRICK PONY. Nay, It was I who championed the transitway, and I who kept Nepean debt free whilst in office. I. Andrew Haydon. Me.
And so ends our sniff into the mind of a super candidate. We could have stayed longer but the nose of a pug is a delicate thing. But be wary of men who fly in at the 11th hour, as the folks at superdickery.com have warned us, Superman is a Dick.
- Cleo’s scribe